Several years ago, my wife stumbled upon a TV show which she instantly fell in love with: Jon and Kate Plus 8. This show chronicled the lives of Jon and Kate Gosselin, a suburban Pennsylvania couple who were raising eight children: a set of twins and a set of sextuplets.

The fifth season of the show ended abruptly in late June with the announcement the couple had filed for a divorce after ten years of marriage. Rumors had been publicly circulating since the summer regarding alleged infidelity and other marital issues. Seemingly overnight, the most popular primetime-feel-good-couple became the object of an army of paparazzi cameras and gossip columnists.

So what happened? The answer which the TV show offered an unconvincing array of “he-said-she-said.” There’s no doubt (and I would say the same about issues which arise in my own marriage) that both parties are always to blame (although to varying degrees).

Let me offer one observation. As I understand the situation, two years ago Jon quit his job to stay at home with the kids so Kate could travel the country promoting the show and their book published by Zondervan in 2008 entitled Multiple Blessings. Recently, I learned about some friends of ours who operate similarly: the wife works while the dad has been a stay-at-home dad for many years. However, I imagine even this couple would admit their situation is the minority. Speaking for myself and my own self-awareness of my emotions, I know I need to work outside the home because it provides stability, confidence, and self-worth. Turning this upside down would be detrimental to my marriage, and I imagine it would be the same for other families as well. Through my limited knowledge of Jon Gosselin, I would bet he felt discarded as his wife was the one who led the way in promoting his family. I would.

An article from FoxNews.com reads:

Apparently trying to explain what went wrong, Jon said, “I was too passive. I just let her rule the roost and do whatever she wanted to do, and went along with everything, and now I finally stood up on my own two feet, and I’m proud of myself.”

Divorce is never something to be proud of, but there’s something about many men who, if they’re honest, feel a deep and real emotional need to be the ones providing for their family.